A Tale of Generations

Family gatherings have always been a favorite event for me. I remember when I was in my teens and even early 20’s, I had cousins to check in on and we would have our own little “party within a party” no matter what the occasion.  The parents- and grandparent-types were either catching up with their own age group or running around after the kids. I would look at the older, senior relatives and wonder why they weren’t bored with each other after all this time.

Fast forward 50 years and the idea of a wedding or family reunion being boring seems youthful folly. It’s lovely to see another generation come on the scene; the toddlers have gotten gangly, the 9 year olds are now teenagers, the teens are all grown up with dates by their sides, the young adults are now parents and there’s a whole new generation of grandparents. I always walk away with a handful of great family stories to share.

But I had a real shock at my nephew’s wedding reception recently.

I’d only been at the event for an hour or so but new stories and health updates were flowing.  Some relatives I hadn’t seen for several years.  There was much to catch up on.

A bell rings, or my nephew yells “Be Seated! (who remembers?) and I go to find my name tag on a table.  I look everywhere that I think I should be sitting.  Not with my son and granddaughter. Not with my nephews and their wives and kids.  There was only one table left.

And at 70 years old, I was probably the youngest person there, but really?…. AT THE OLD PEOPLES’ TABLE!?!?!

Don’t get me wrong.  I loved almost everyone at that table. And it would give me a chance to check in on my “future”. But it was a shock.

I frantically looked around to see if others my age were spared this First Time Baptism.  There were a few, but there was no getting around the fact that I possibly belonged there.

I realized, at that moment, that this was one of those getting-old-experiences that came out of nowhere, that I had never considered.  I’ve imagined getting slumped over, no longer sure of what’s “cool”, not staying up half the night having fun, always looking for my cheater glasses…

But being put at the Old Peoples’ Table never entered my mind as a place I would end up.

Looking back now, I’m a little disappointed with my initial shock.  For all my disdain at how seniors and the elderly are often treated in our culture and by younger people, was I doing the same by not wanting to be at that table?  Or was it a case of not accepting that I am definitely on the senior side of the family?

Of course, I had a lovely time there. Some of these relatives are really only 6-7 years older than me and I’ve known them far longer than the youngun’s running around.  There was much to discuss about the world, the family, who was getting married, who was getting divorced  and I got some really good tips for staying alive longer than expected.

Perhaps a better way for me and upcoming generations to transition into this unique family position would be to insist that we change the term “OLD PEOPLE’S TABLE” into the “WISE PEOPLE’S TABLE”. That would be something to look forward to.

Janet Torge